I Watched It Begin Again
by raero
Summary: It's a hurt that she's never felt before. In which, Annabeth's eyes are finally opened wide.
1. She May Contain the Urge to Runaway

**A/N: This story is extremely dear to my heart as it is extremely personal. It's very much so an AU and the title is from the song "Begin Again" by Taylor Swift. Thanks for reading and please leave me a review if you enjoyed it. Lord knows it would help me out.**

When Annabeth meets Luke for the first time, it's magic. She's only 12 and he's a little older but that doesn't bother her the slightest. They hit it off immediately and with in a few weeks they are best friends and are inseparable. Annabeth thinks her favorite thing in the world is the tiny mole on his cheek right where his jaw meets his neck. She also loves the way he runs his nail under hers when they hold hands. The way he rests his head in her neck melts her. She can stay in his arms and smell the delightful scent that lingers in his neck and shoulders forever, And as they grow older, she loves the kisses and the ease of their friendship morphing into something more. She thinks she's the luckiest girl in the world because she's truly in love with her best friend.

But something isn't right. She can feel it in her bones. It's five years later since they've first met and she's never loved him more. However, she isn't sure she can say the same for him. It's in the way he says he loves her. It's the way he kisses her. The way he assures her he'd never hurt her. Something isn't adding up in her mind, but she does her damned best to tell herself she's paranoid. She's been hurt before. But Luke of all people? Not her Luke. He'd never hurt her. They were going to get married, have little babies and sit in wooden rocking chairs on the porch watching their grandchildren play. It was their plan since the beginning. It was the only solid thing Annabeth could hold on to.

So of course, when Annabeth discovers his secret life, she's completely destroyed. The parties. The drugs. The girls.

She's stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

Only a stupid girl could've missed all the signs. The way he'd never call before bed. The way he'd be so distant when they were together. The constant holes in his stories that she overlooked.

She thinks of all the excuses she made for him. She can remember all the times she defended him to Piper and Rachel.

Oh, if she thought the revelation of what he did when he wouldn't answer her calls hurt, it was nothing compared to him looking her dead in the eye and saying, "I don't love you anymore. I haven't for a long time."

Annabeth thinks she'll never leave this room of hers again. Her world is collapsing all around her and she thinks if she can speak to him one last time they can fix this. He can change his ways and they'll be back and better then ever. So she calls. And calls. And texts. And after days of crying and begging and nothing but silence, she gets just one response.

 _Just shut the fuck up already._

And at that moment she realizes when he said he didn't love her, he meant it.

* * *

It's been a month since she last tried to call Luke. She's slowly learning how to go about her day without Luke there with her. She has her good days and bad days. Whenever she hears his name, her blood boils and her stomach does flips but she does her best to take deep breaths and remind herself that he is simply not worth this. It's slowly coming to her. She's slowly starting to see all the things wrong with him that she had seen up close. It's not much, but it's the start she needs.

* * *

In the second month, she decides to start dating. His name is Andrew and Piper mocks how perfect this potential relationship could be based solely on names. Annabeth tries to play it off casually. She doesn't want Piper to see how nervous she actually is. Luke was the only guy she'd been with ever. The idea of being with another person was strange and intimidating to her. She wants this to work more then anything. She wants to prove to herself that Luke isn't the only person to show interest in her.

But she doesn't like the way he holds her hand. His are too sweaty. She doesn't like the way he kisses her. His lips are hard and rough. Luke's were always moist and soft. She doesn't like his smile because his eyes don't light up the way Luke's used too.

After three dates, Andrew knows and he doesn't call her back. She's not offended. She probably would've done the same if she were him. She knows she's not ready to date and it would be unfair to the other person to try. She's content and understanding with his decision.

* * *

He's been gone from her for three months when Piper tells her of her new boyfriend. His name is Jason Grace. Piper says she's in love and Annabeth smiles, hoping for her friend's sake it won't end badly. Piper glows when she speaks of Jason and Annabeth wonders if she looked that way when she used to speak of Luke.

"I want you to meet him," Piper says. "We can go somewhere really fun. Please, Annabeth. You haven't left your house in months."

"I don't want to third wheel your date," she says. And, gods, is she being honest. That's the last thing she wants.

"You won't. Trust me."

"Piper McLean, if you try and set me up-"

 _"Annabeth."_ Piper does that slightly whiny voice she knows drives Annabeth crazy. "I'm your best friend. I'm inviting you because I want you there."

Piper's voice softens a little, "I'm worried about you. I know you're still recovering but you can't stop your life for this asshole. You're worth more then that."

A lump forms in Annabeth's throat. She swallows thickly and exhales.

"Tell me when."

* * *

The day that she meets Jason Grace marks the fourth month of Luke's absence. Piper picks her up and they drive to a well known music shack in the city. Piper lights up when a tall, blond boy approaches her.

"Hey, Beautiful," he smiles at Piper.

He's handsome, in a bookish sort of way. He holds his hand out to her. "You must be Annabeth," he smiles. "Gosh, it's so great to finally meet you. Piper talks about you non-stop."

She smiles, "You too."

They're kissing now and she's uncomfortable and ready to leave. She opens her mouth to speak when another tall boy, this one with black messy hair and intense green eyes walks up to them and slaps Jason on the back.

"Save it for the car ride home, bro."

Jason laughs, his cheeks reddening.

"Annabeth," Piper smiles like this is the moment she's been waiting for all night. "This is Jason's best friend, Percy Jackson."

 **A/N: This is by far the most personal story I have ever written. I'm going through a very similar experience myself and it's been hard on me so I decided to do what helps me most and that's write. I do plan on continuing this story if it's well liked so please leave me a review and let me know what you think. Thank you so much for reading!**


	2. I Wanna Love You

She can remember the first time she saw Luke like it was yesterday. Her heart raced and her knees buckled and she could feel her whole world tremble just as he entered it. That's the thing. It was a total opposite when Percy walked up to her. Silence. The noise all around them quieted and it was like for the first time, she could see with clarity. And when he smiled and extended his hand towards her, it was like slow motion.

"I'm Percy, as you just learned," his smile seems genuine and it's a different feeling for her.

"Annabeth," she meets his hand. They're soft and envelope hers like it's what they were always meant to do.

She's falling, falling, falling so quickly and she's trying to stop herself but, damn, that smile. Those eyes.

"How long have you known Piper?" he asks into her ear as the volume around them increases.

"Since we were eight." She's trying to level her voice so he can't see how flustered she is and Piper won't know that she's accomplished what she set out to do.

"Yeah, same with me and Jason," he nods. "Known the little punk since he was four feet tall and even more awkward then he is now. It makes me happy to see him so happy with her."

She smiles and agrees, "If there's anyone who deserves this it's her."

Then, she feels a tap on her shoulder and turns to see Piper hand in hand with Jason.

"We're gonna go dance. Have fun!" She says with a wink.

She turns back to Percy and they smile shyly at each other.

"Do you, uh, would you want to go dance too?" he asks.

If she didn't know any better, she'd think he were nervous. She nods and smiles.

He takes her hand and she follows him to the dance floor.

His hand fits comfortable in the small of her back and it's then she realizes she hasn't been this close to a guy since-

"Do you dance? Because I don't know if you can tell but I don't know what the hell I'm doing." His voice interrupts her thoughts just before she can say his name in her head. And to her surprise, she laughs. Because he's a little flushed and slightly embarrassed but he's so damn cute and she can't remember the last time she felt this way. Happy. Satisfied.

He smiles at her laugh and she feels him pull her closer. "You're doing just fine. Trust me."

The small talk he whispers in her ear is surprisingly calming. The way he asks about her day, her favorite songs, the weather, her family. She's resting her head on his shoulder when she realizes they've stopped moving. They're completely still, holding each other and laughing into each other's ears on in the center of the dance floor.

"Annabeth!" She lifts her head to see Piper motioning towards her. "We've gotta go, my dad's calling me."

"I can give you a ride if you're okay with that," Percy mumbles to her.

"Are you cool with me staying?" She asks Piper.

Piper smiles knowingly and nods. "Text me later." She waves goodbye.

They stay until Percy's phone lights up. "It's my mom. We better get going."

She nods understandingly and they walk to the car. She's a little surprised when he reaches for her hand and even more surprised when he opens the car door for her. She wasn't used to this and she found herself wondering if this is what it was like to be with a good guy. She thinks she can get used to this.

He's driving now and she notices the peaks he takes at her.

"Looking for something in particular?" She teases.

His face is bright red, "Uh, no. I'm just, uh making sure you're okay."

"I'm doing just fine thanks for asking." She winks.

When he bursts out laughing, she's a little confused. Luke always told her her attempts to be funny never made sense. So why is Percy laughing so hard? Why does he slide his hand down her cheek when they say good bye? Why does he say her eyes are so beautiful? Luke always said they were too intimidating. She tells herself he's being polite. He's a nice boy. That's what nice boys do.

When she lays in bed that night, she knows she can't see him again. She's falling for him to quickly. He doesn't know just how fucked up she is and when he finds out, he'll do exactly what Luke did. She can't love again. Not now. Not ever.

Piper asks insistently why Annabeth refuses to Percy again, and while she can't come up with any valid reason as to why she won't see him again, she continues to deny that it has to do with Luke. But Piper can see right through it and Annabeth is embarrassed because she doesn't want anyone to know just how weak she truly is still. She wants everyone to believe that nearly five months later, she is fully recovered and completely moved on from the past five years of her life. But that's just not the case. She's scarred and she doesn't want Percy to make that scar an open wound once again. But she won't tell Piper that. She's far too prideful.

"Annabeth, just cut the act!" Piper's voice raises as they argue in Annabeth's bedroom. "I'm your best friend what the hell do you think I'm going to do? Make fun of you? It was hard for you I get that! He hurt you, I know! But you have a chance to start over. Percy is a good guy and I wouldn't have brought him around if I didn't think so. Just give him a shot. He's been asking about you nonstop."

Annabeth exhales and runs her fingers through her curls. She knows Piper's right and she's so annoyed at that. She hadn't felt that way with someone since, well, she wasn't sure since when. Deep down, she really did want to see him again. She just couldn't let him to close. She'd entertain her best friend's wishes. She couldn't have anything left to lose.

"Fine." She exhales. "Give him my number."

 **A/N: Thanks for reading chapter two. This is my first multi chapter story so please leave me a review and tell me what you guys think. Thank you also for the kind reviews and encouraging words. It's been tough for me lately but writing always helps and seeing kind words is always a bonus too. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you thought!**


	3. Perhaps I Knew Her Long Ago

"Annabeth? Uh, hi. It's Percy. Sorry if this is weird. Um, Jason gave me your number and I, uh, was just wondering if you wanted to maybe, oh, I don't know, get coffee or something sometime? I mean it doesn't have to be coffee if you don't like coffee. It can be whatever you want really. I just, um, wanted to maybe get to know you better, if you'd like. No pressure, of course. God, I made this awkward. Okay, uh, give me a call back when you can, I mean if you want. Goodbye."

Annabeth is holding back laughter by the time she finishes listening to the voicemail Percy left her. Truthfully, she was pleasantly surprised to see the missed call on her phone when she stepped out of the shower. In the deep recesses of her mind, she thought it was Luke. But this time, when she saw it wasn't him, she wasn't disappointed. She was actually slightly excited when she heard Percy's voice. Still wrapped in her towel, she sits on her bed to call Piper.

"Hello?"

"Piper! He called. Should I call back? Like, I missed the call, it was like fifteen minutes ago. If I call back right away does that seem desperate? The last thing I want to do is seem desper-"

She's interrupted by Piper's laugh. "Annabeth, relax. You're not going to seem desperate okay? I bet he's anxiously waiting by the phone. Knowing Percy, he probably is. Just call him back, okay? Don't over think this. You're working yourself up for no reason."

Annabeth exhales. She's not used to be the frantic friend. She was calm, collected Annabeth. Well, she used to be. "Thanks, Piper."

"Give him a call back. Then tell me what happens!"

"Piper, I don't know if this is a good idea. I mean, it hasn't been that long since the breakup and I don't want to rush-"

"Annabeth. It's a date. Not a wedding proposal. If you really don't think you're ready I know he'll respect that. But in my opinion, you shouldn't pass this opportunity up. But hey, whatever you decide you know I'll support you."

"Thanks, Pipes. You're the bees knees."

"So I've been told. See ya."

The phone beeps as the call ends and Annabeth takes a second to breathe before making her next call.

"Okay. I can do this. It's a call. Nothing serious. One date. That's all," she mumbles to herself.

The ringing of the call is torturous. She twirls a strand of hair tightly around her finger and bites down on her lip. And when she hears the sweet deepness of his voice she feels her body turn to liquid.

"Hey, Annabeth. It's nice to hear from you."

He sounded so genuinely happy that it warmed her whole body right up.

"Hi, Percy. I got your voicemail."

"Oh, that? Crap, I thought I deleted that."

She laughs. And it's authentic and feels real for the first time in months, maybe even years.

"So about that coffee date," she can hear his smile through the phone. "Or anything else really if you don't like coffee, I was just wondering if you would want to take me up on that?"

"A coffee date? Why, that's an offer I can't refuse." She shouldn't be flirting because she told herself she wasn't going to get herself attached to him, but talking and flirting came shockingly easy with him. It was almost to hard for her to resist.

"Is tomorrow okay with you?" He's so hopeful, so eager to see her, get to know her, memorize everything about her. She'd be lying to herself and everyone else if she said she didn't feel the same.

"Tomorrow?" Her heart is lifting in this oddly optimistic way. "Yes, Percy. Tomorrow is perfect."

* * *

"I need you to come over ASAP."

"What's wrong? Is everything okay?" Piper's voice hints a worried tone.

"I have no clue what I'm going to wear."

"That's the big emergency? You had me worried sick!"

"I'm sorry, I'm just really unsure and, Piper, I don't know if you can tell but I've never been more nervous about anything in my life."

"Annabeth. I never told you this but your nose twitches when your nervous."

"OH MY GOD AND YOU'RE JUST TELLING ME THIS NOW? I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE NOW."

"It's a cute twitch. I'll be over in 10."

When Piper enters Annabeth's room, she isn't shocked at all to see Annabeth inspecting her nose in her mirror.

"This is such crucial information and I can not believe you waited until this moment to tell me."

"It's not noticeable. I just know because I've seen your face so many times. Now, on to more pressing matters. Where is he taking you?"

"He said he knows a little cafe with desserts and stuff. But does that mean casual? Or dressy? And what if I over dress or under dress? That'd be awful and humiliating and-"

"You like him," Piper says with a smug look on her face.

Annabeth feels the heat rising to her cheeks. She huffs and scoffs like it's the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard. "Um, no. Pssh. That's ludicrous. I'm only doing this to humor you. He's a nice guy but me and relationships don't mix. I don't even know what's going to happen after tonight."

Piper has that sly smile on her face and merely nods her head, "Okay. If you say so."

"I brought you here to style me. Not to give me smug smiles."

In the end, they decide to go for comfy casual. She wore a simple maroon sweater, black jeans, and boots. Somehow, Piper had managed to tame her curls into looking rather decent and when Annabeth stood in front of the mirror she felt somewhat okay. And when she heard Percy pull up she took a deep breath and walked to the door. He was a sight to see in a cool flannel and dark blue jeans.

"Hey, you look, wow." His smile was infectious and his hand scratches the back of his neck like he's nervous.

"Thank you," she's fighting the blush and she's wondering if her nose is twitching.

Piper peaks her head out of the front door, "Hey, Perc. Take care of my best friend, okay?"

"But, of course." He holds out his arm for Annabeth to take hold of.

"Alright you crazy kids. Don't be out too late. Be safe. Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Piper calls after them.

"See ya, Pipes," Percy calls out. He turns to Annabeth.

"The cafe isn't too far here so I thought we'd walk if that's okay with you?"

"Sounds perfect," and she really thought it did. It's late afternoon and the sun is setting right before their eyes, casting shadows and painting the sky a thousand different colors.

"Thank you for calling back by the way. I really didn't think you would," he says gazing off at the newly appeared stars.

"Why's that?" She asks, a teeny bit apprehensive to hear his answer.

"Jason told me some things. Nothing bad and nothing that I want you to think I'm judging you for. Our past is the past for a reason. But it just helped me get a little bit of a better understanding as to why you seem like you're trying to stay distant from me."

Well, shit. She's going to kill Piper.

"Look, about that," her voice trails and thankfully he stops her before she can continue.

"You don't have to tell me. I just want you to know that I'm not like that. And I'm sure you've heard it before but when I say I would never do that, I mean it," his green eyes are burning her grey ones. She's not capable of looking away.

"I guess we'll just have to see about that," she gulps. She's becoming more terrified then nervous because looking at him she doesn't see the shy cute boy from the music shack last week. She sees a man that she could really see herself falling in love with. The thought is petrifying.

This is absurd. She can't fall in love with this person she just met. She doesn't know a thing about him, aside from what Piper's told her of course. She can remember the pain she felt not to long ago and the thought of the possibility that she would have to go through that again was all too much for her. But he opens the door for her as they enter the cafe. And he helps her into her chair. And, wow, he listens to her when she speaks like the words coming out of her mouth are the most important thing he's ever heard. And she loves listening to him talk about his swim team and his mom and step father and his obsession with the color blue. He's fascinating and she's captivated by every word that leaves his full pink lips.

The cafe's closing when they finally decide to walk back.

"I hope you decide to keep me around," he says once they've reached her front door.

She's trying to play cool and not let him see how badly she did, in fact, want him around. "If you play your cards right, anything could happen, Jackson."

"I'll keep that in mind," he says softly.

She thinks his eyes will be the death of her.

"Goodnight, Annabeth. Thank you for coming out with me tonight."

"Thank you for inviting me. I had a good time."

He's inches from her face and it's agony for them both.

"I most definitely want to do this again," he says with a gentle smile.

"I'll consider it."

His fingers find the stray hair across her cheek and push them back in place.

"Let me know what you come up with."

"Will do."

Breathing has never been this hard for her.

"Good night, Percy."

"Sweet dreams, Annabeth," his smile is so sweet that she's positive it'll stay in her head forever.

And so, she has come to the conclusion that staying away from Percy Jackson won't be the walk in the park she originally anticipated.

 **A/N: Hi guys! This chapter kind of got away from me and was super hard to end. I hope you enjoyed it though. I plan on at least three more chapters until the conclusion. So please leave me a review and tell me what you thought of this chapter! Thanks so much for reading!**


	4. Not Giving It Up

She wakes up early on a Tuesday, two weeks after their first date. In that short amount of time they've become inseparable. He's clouded her mind and invaded her heart and she can't seem to get enough of him. She'll never admit it to him or Piper or even herself for that matter. Not yet at least. Percy was slowly proving himself to her and she has never been so happy to be proven wrong in her life. She goes to sleep every night feeling happy and safe, and she wakes up in the morning feeling excited and hopeful. And on this particular morning, she leaves early and walks to get a coffee before school. After she orders and pays, she sits in a couch and cracks open a book. She's halfway done with her coffee and engrossed in the sixteenth chapter and she doesn't hear the footsteps approach her. But her heart stops when she hears the eerily familiar voice say "Hey, Annabeth. Long time no see."

Her heart begins to race and she feels her cheeks turn a flaming red as she slams her book shut and stands to gather her things. "Well, Luke, that's the thing about breakups." She hastily tries to push past him and makes her way to the exit but he won't move.

"Don't you want to catch up?" He asks innocently. "I want to know how you've been."

She can't look at him because every time she does sees the naïve, hopeful, and lost girl she had been just a few months ago and she'll do anything not to be that girl again.

"I don't care what you want." She feels her phone buzz and looks down to find a good morning text from Percy. She smiles to herself and Luke notices.

"Is that that loser Jackson kid you've been hanging around with?" he scoffs.

"He's not a loser. And who I'm friends with is none of your business. Goodbye, Luke." She rushes out the door, praying he didn't follow.

"Annabeth, wait!"

Couldn't he just take a _hint?_

"That's not what I meant. I just miss you. And I was hoping maybe you missed me too."

His eyes are pleading but it's surprisingly easy for her to resist. "You know, for a while I really did. But it's easy to stop caring when you're ignored and treated like shit. So no, I don't miss you. Not one bit."

"Come on, baby, you don't mean that." He reaches for her hand but she pulls away quickly. She notices the pain in his eyes and she wonders if he really misses her or if he's just angry about the Percy situation. She figures it's the latter of the two.

"He doesn't know you like I do." Luke says.

"He's trying to. He's trying even harder than you ever did actually."

"He won't treat you like I did."

"You're right. He'll treat me even better."

"Annabeth, hear me out please. I know I fucked up bad. Really bad. I'm sorry, okay? I really am. I've never regretted anything more than I regret how I treated you. I loved you and I took you for granted. I thought you'd always be around no matter what I did and that's where I messed up. You're my everything and these months without you, they've been, I'm just, I'm so lost. I need your smartass here telling me what to do," he blinks hard in an effort to hide his tears but she can tell he's holding back sobs.

She won't break though. She won't give in. She's not that girl anymore. She'll never be that girl again. She turns to leave and she can still hear him calling for her four blocks away.

* * *

The tears are rolling down her cheeks but she's emotionless. She stares blankly ahead, her grey eyes transfixed on the sidewalk in front of her. She doesn't know quite where she's going, she just walks and walks and walks. Her phone starts to ring and she's scared it's Luke but, holy hell, is she relieved to see it's Percy.

"Hey," her voice sounds level to her. He can't possibly tell that she's crying.

"You're crying. Why? Where are you? Are you okay?"

"Percy, I'm ok-"

"I'm coming to get you. Where are you?"

And he was there in a matter of minutes. His silver little Honda rolls up beside her and she jumps in, desperate to escape the cold and leave behind whatever strange feelings she had.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"Percy, I'm fine. Honest."

"You were crying."

"Yeah. I was. I was just having a hard time."

"Wanna talk about it?" His voice is much softer now, not as heavily worried but more concerned.

"I, uh, ran into my ex. And he was just being dumb."

She notices his lips form a tight line and she understood why. It's not like they're official. They were in the awkward in between stage and even if he wanted to get angry it's not like he really could. She's not his girlfriend and he's not her boyfriend. That wouldn't change the fact that it bothered him though. It creeps in the back of his mind that she could go back to that piece of crap. She could cut him off at any moment and take Luke back. Nothing scared him more. He never has felt so connected to someone before. Her grey eyes intoxicated him. However, his reasons for wanting her weren't purely selfish. He knew that she deserved more than that asshole or even he, himself, could give her. But he could damn well try.

"Oh." His voice goes an octave higher.

"Percy, look. I don't want you to think anything would go on with him. I'm not like that-"

"Oh, God, Annabeth, no no no, that's not what I was thinking at all."

"Well, what were you thinking then?" she asks quietly.

"Well, I just," He rubs the back of his neck, searching for the right words. "Well, I'm sure you know I really like you. And I want you to be happy and all and I'll support you in all you do. I know we're not together, like, officially but I was hoping eventually, you know, maybe we could be and I'm just scared, I guess, that I wouldn't get a shot to make you happy."

She looks at him and that strong jaw line, messy black hair, and gorgeous green eyes and just _knows_ she could look at him every day and happy. She knows that he's worried that she'll take Luke back. She won't let Luke take another opportunity away from her, especially such a sweet, handsome, practically perfect one. So it slips out of her lips. "You want to be official... Right?"

He glances over at her. "Yeah, Annabeth. Of course I do."

"Well... Can we be?"

He smiles at himself and reaches for her hand. He takes it in his gently and raises it to his lips, kissing it softly. "I kinda wanted to ask you, but I love a girl who takes charge."

"So is that a yes or not, Jackson? My offer expires in five minutes."

"That's a hell yes, Chase."

"That's what I thought."

The smile he gave her would stay in her head forever.

 **Hi guys! I'm sorry it's been so long. It's been hectic lately! I was a little lost with what direction I wanted to take this story, but I think/hope it's on the right track. Please feel free to leave me a review and tell me what you thought. Thank you so much for reading!  
**


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